I hate my job. I hate it a lot. I hate it like fat people hate running. I hate it like George Bush hates thinking and words with more than one syllable. I hate it with the heat of 10,000 suns and that's really freaking hot.
I cannot describe how bored I am. A Citizen Kane marathon would be a welcome reprieve from the monotony. And I'm sorry, but that is one boring-ass movie.
So, I recently started working here at Bureaucratic Printing Company when I was laid off from Struggling Biotech Firm right before Christmas. Happy fucking holidays to you, too. Anyway, I'm back to working in Accounting at Bureaucratic Printing Company, which I thought I was okay with, but turns out I'm really, really not. I'm sure I'll delve into the mind-numbingly, hair-pullingly monotonous work that I was hired to do (you know, my job description) at some point, but not in this entry.
Suffice it to say I find my job so incredibly facile a monkey could easily do it and I have some free time on my hands. So, stupid me, instead of surreptitiously surfing for porn or working on my resume, I decided to tell my supervisor that I was finding myself with free time and that I'd be happy to help other people in the Accounting department. Big mistake.
So, one of my coworkers, let's call her Sally Stretchpants (I have not seen her wear anything besides the same pair of black stretch pants and a navy sweatshirt in the two plus months I've worked here. I really hope she's like Superman and has a whole closet full of the same outfit because otherwise that's nasty) has now decided that I am her personal bitch. Although I still have to perform my regular responsibilities on a daily basis, which she seems to have forgotten all about, she is constantly giving me shitty "projects" to do and telling me that she needs them done right away. So, when I bust my ass to finish whatever menial task that she has dreamed up to torment me with so I can get my regular work done on time, she's all, "Oh, that was fast. Now I have another little project for you! And I need it done right this second! It's really mindless. Here you go!"
She has actually described her projects as mindless to me several times. Like, oh, great, that sounds perfect for me because clearly I'm a fucking idiot you obese minion of Satan! There's nothing I enjoy more than completely disengaging my brain for 9 hours at a time and staring at a computer screen or filing or making copies for your lazy ass. Guess what? I'm ridiculously overqualified for this and you would have to pay me a hell of a lot more money than I'm making, and hello, some benefits would be nice if you wanted me to stick around.
No? Well, why don't I just do all your shit work and eat my off-brand Top Ramen and not get any healthcare because I can't freaking afford it and plaster a smile on my face whilst I do it? And not be able to keep up with my regular work responsibilities without working overtime, which isn't allowed because the company doesn't want to pay it, so basically I have to do it in my own time which I am not being compensated for. Sounds great, Sally Stretchpants!
I need a new job.
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